Late

Ever felt like you came in too late in the game? That if you were just a month, a week, a day or a minute earlier, life would've been served to you on a silver platter?

Ever felt like you're option number 2? That you'll finally have your turn since you're the one next in line?

Ever felt like you would've that chance at perfection if only that perfect-for-you someone would take that risk with you?

Ever experienced all these happen to you three times in a row in a span of 3months?

These days, I've been feeling like I came in too late in the scene. It's not the best feeling in the world to be in a whirl of what ifs and if onlys but it's fun. Weird but fun.

They say in life, timing is everything. But I'm stubborn enough to believe there isn't a deadline that you have to beat. You can go at your own pace, take your time to get over challenges and hurdles. It's your life anyway. You own it. You learn as much as you can. So you live every breath. Try to not make the same mistake again. And yes, for me, I have to try to be on time.

Or maybe I'm not really that late. It could be that it's just me being too early in making my own conclusions. Life can change by the minute. I may have missed some chances but I know I'll be lucky and there will be that next chance that'll come along. And I know this time I'll be right on time. And it'll be just perfect.

And maybe, just maybe, it won't hurt to ask that you try to be there to take that chance with me. If and when that time comes, I'll take the risk. Who knows? It could be for real.

Life is all about timing. I'll just have to learn to wait.

Perfetch!

Have you woken up to a morning and just knew that everything is gonna be just great? I just had that episode this morning and guess what? The day indeed turned out to be great! :)

It's amazing how sometimes you just feel like you've won big for no reason at all. No, this isn't too much chocolate. It's not tons of sleep either since I haven't had more than 6 hours last night. It's not like I got a present or anything that resembles to a nice surprise. Nothing special or out of the ordinary actually. It's still the usual day to day routine I've been having for the past two months now. I honestly can't point my finger at it.

Or maybe, just maybe this is how contented feels like. And I believe I am. And I think I might have to get used to this.

It's just perfect. I'm loving it! :)

Simple Saturday

It's turning out to be a friends and family weekend.

FRIEND.

It’s 10pm and I just uploaded a whole bunch of pictures from my last week’s birthday bash. I am at Nette’s downtown apartment. And being in the posh downtown area, I am loving the lights as seen from the window. For once, I’m not missing the charm of my suburban crib.

It was just last week when I picked her up at the airport. Now, she’s asleep on the couch, tired from rigorous badminton playing and adjusting to the time zone. If and when she decides to wake up tonight, we’ll get carcinogens by eating canned corned beef, tuna and instant noodles and watch Season1 Scrubs which I borrowed. The aim is get tired from laughing until we fall asleep.

FAMILY.

While I'm waiting for my sister to finish her chicken wings dinner cooked by her hubbie so we can have an hour or two of chatting over shallow things and any what-have-you’s that nobody else will understand but just us, I’m wondering how many minutes more to count before I have to wash off the spa treatment I have on my hair now.

BESTFRIENDS AND FAMILY.

My bestfriend just went offline. She just downloaded my pictures so she could show it to my mom later. She’ll be visiting with my other now-doctor bestfriend who just had his birthday yesterday. Mom prepared lunch as always and crepe for dessert. Lucky them!

The day is turning out to be just how I felt it would be when I woke up this morning. Simple and filled with catching-up and hair spa treatment on the side. It’s freezing outside but I don’t mind the cold. Family and friends are close by and I don’t feel like I’m an ocean away.

I can't ask for anything else...just more days like these.

Ganon Nga

Wala na. Ganun-ganon lang at nawalan na ako ng interes. Hindi na ako naghihintay. Hindi na ako nag-iisip. Nagising lang ako kanina at napatanong ng 'Yun na 'yon? Wala na? That's it? Seryoso?Wala na ba talaga?'

E sa ganon e. Mukhang hanggang dun lang yata talaga ako. Yun na nga yun.

Next!

LSS of the Week

Eve, The Apple Of My Eye

by Bell X1

You left it, I sent it
I want it back

You left it, I sent it

I want it back

If I had you here, I'd clip your wings

Snap you up and leave you sprawling on my pin

This plan of mine is oh so very lame

Can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

You left, I died,

I went and you cried

You came, I think

But I never really know

I've served my time

I've watched you climb

The wrong incline

But what do I know

Accept it, Don't let it

Turn the screw

Accept it, And let it

Scream back at you

Now this applies both equally to you and I

The only thing we share

Is the same sky

These empty metaphors

They're all in vain

Like can't you see the grass is greener where it rains

In the garden Snake was a charmin'

And Eve said let's give it a try

Now lead us not into temptation

But no matter how hard I try

When in the garden and Snake is a charmin'

And Eve says let's give it a try

Eve is the apple of my eye

And I lie behind you

And cradle you in the palm of me

And I pat your hair down

I think will we sink or swim?

'Cause we could do either on a whim

Pwede

Heto na naman ako. Nag-iisip. Natutulala. Gumuguhit ng kung anuman sa hangin. Nagtatrabaho nga pero panay ang tingin sa telepono na abot kamay lang. Ito na nga. Para na naman akong ilusyonada. Nagbabakasakali na tutunog ang fone at baka naman hindi ang telemarketer na malapit ko na isumpa ang tatawag. Ewan. Naisip ko lang. Baka lang naman ikaw ang tumawag. Isang malaking baka.

Hindi naman siguro masama na sa pagkakataong ito, maari kong isipin na pwede. Sige. Iisipin ko na nga. Pwede ka. Papasa. Kasi naman sa totoo lang, pwede naman talaga ako. Kung matutunan ko lang alisin 'tong pagkamanhid ko, pwede talaga. Sinasabi ko lang na hindi dahil matigas lang ulo ko at makulit ako. Siguro nga dapat tigilan ko na ang walang paroroonan kong pag-iisip ng 'Wala lang yun!'dahil sa pagkakataong ito, baka meron. Mukhang meron.

Heto na naman ako. Nagtatanong. Baka nga? Pwde nga kaya? Siguro nga. Sana nga.

27

27. It's somewhere between the dreaded quarter life crisis and the you-thought-you-know-for-sure-who-you-are-30's. A lot of questions have been answered but then there are some thoughts left hanging in the air and there are what if's to be fulfilled.

27. I call it my limbo stage. I'm no longer in my mid-20's but then it's not yet really late 20's. It's that stage where it begins to be less confusing yet on some points you might still feel a bit unsure.

27. I feel like there's definitely more direction to where I'm treading yet I know I'm not expected to have achieved perfection and not make mistakes.

27. Confusing but weirdly pleasant as it can be, it just generally feels fine. It feels safe. I think I've just crossed that line to reach that place where to get more answers.

I woke up and realized I've landed. And as far as I know, I think I've never felt better...

Let It Snow

It is the first time this year that snow is falling on Minneapolis. From my cube at the 6th floor, it is just an awesome thing to see. For lack of a better word, I'd say it's just beautiful. This isn't the first time I saw snow but for me, it hasn't lost its magic.

It's as if the one time nature thought about something amazing and wonderful, she said 'I can create the perfect phenomenon that will make you stand in awe. And you can call it whatever you like.'

And we called it snow.

Glad To Be YOUR Joke

Isang malaking joke na naman ako kay God.

Patulog na ako nang bigla kong na-realize na nawawala si Hyacinth Margaux. No. Hindi ko sya anak sa pagkadalaga. Lalong hindi sya isa sa mga batang iniwan sa daycare center at laong hindi ako nagtatrabaho sa daycare center. Si Hyacinth Margaux ang celfone ko. Actually, hindi lang sya celfone. PDA at mp3 player ko rin sya pero mainly tambakan ng files at pictures kaya importante sya sa akin. Sa sobrang pagka-importante niya sa akin, kinailangan ko syang pangalanang Hyacinth Margaux. Baket sa dinami-dami ng pangalan, Hyacinth Margaux pa? E sa gusto ko. Weno ngayon?

Going back to my story, nawawala nga si HM. Nawindang ako. Gabi na. 9pm. Kung anu-ano na tumakbo sa utak ko. Naiwan ko kaya sa oficina? Naiwan ko kaya sa kotse? Baka nahulog sa bag ko nung papunta akong kotse. Sang floor kaya nahulog? May nakapulot kaya? Shet. Pano na pictures ko??? *Hinga...hinga...* Nasa kotse yan. Nasa kotse. Sige lang. Sabihin ko lang nang paulit-ulit. Baka sa sobrang pag-iisip, magkatotoo.

Dali-dali akong nagbihis. Jeans, sweater, keys. BestBuy Badge ID -- Baka sakaling malas at wala sa kotse at kelangan ko nga pumunta ng office. Kesehodang mag-drive ako ng gabi kesa hindi ako makatulog sa kakaisip. Mas importante sa akin na maganda bukas at walang eyebags kesa hintayin ang bukas.

Papunta na ako sa garage at habang naglalakad, nagdasal ako. God, sana nasa kotse. Please lang...sana nasa kotse. Kahit ito na birthday gift Mo sa akin. Mahal ko yung phone na yun. At mahal din sya. Please, sana makita ko sa kotse. Kahit yun na lang talaga gift Mo sa akin. Di na ako hihiling. Pramis.

Bago ko pa man naisip ang halaga ng last 3 sentences na sinabi ko, nasa harap na ako ng kotse. Madilim. Nakow! Mahirap 'to. Black pa naman casing ng fone ko at black din ang carpet ng kotse. Bukas na ang door sa likod. Kapa...kapa... Ewwwwww! Matagal ko na palang hindi napapagpag 'tong carpet. Pero naman! As if may choice ako. Kapa...kapa...kapa pa... Teka. May black na kung anuman. Mukhang casing...maliit. Si HM? Shet! That's it! Ang fone ko!!!

At parang may narinig akong tumatawa sa Taas na naisahan ako.

Doink! Bigla kong na-realize ang katangahan ko. That's it. Wala na. Kelangan ko nang namnamin 'to. This is the moment. Ito na yung gift ni God para sa birthday ko. Langya, naisahan nga ako. Me and my big mouth. Napatingin na lang ako sa hinahawakan kong fone. Hay naku, kasalanan mo 'to Hyacinth! Hindi ko tuloy siya maihihiling kay God as my birthday gift.

Pero God, alam Mo, salamat. Grabe. Mahal Mo talaga ako. In furnez, ang bilis ng turnaround ng hiling ko. Kahit pa alam Mong nagsisisi ako ng bahagya dahil hindi na ako makakahiling ng iba, aminin Mo namang natuwa Ka na rin dahil kahit papano, napasaya Kita sa katangahan ko. Fine. Ano pa nga ba? I'm just glad to be Your joke for the day.

Ito na. Totoo na 'to. Walang halong sarcasm at hindi nababalot ng pag-iimbot. Salamat God!

Pero wait lang...baka naman pwede pa rin akong humirit? You know. Sumkinda sign. Pero wag naman yung sobrang nakakaloka na tipong burning bush. What if lang God? Please???

Fall

I just got my camera fixed and the first thing I did was take a picture of the view from my room. Since the start of fall, I'd start my day with guessing how cold it is outside by opening my window. I get all fidgety with the anticipation of how surprisingly cold the breeze will be. I'd test myself with how much cold breeze I could take by leaving the window open. And then I'd decide it has crossed the line between good-cold and bad-shivering cold. So far, MN has been good to me. I still get lucky having good cold air lingering in my room. With hues of orange, yellow and brown all around, I'm loving each moment of the fall season. The colors are just amazingly warm yet crisp.

Weather forecast said it's going to snow on Wednesday but I'm keeping my fingers crossed. I just can't let go of Fall...at least not yet. I guess until the first snowflake greets my windowpane, I'll keep on opening my window each morning and guessing how cold it is outside.

My Birthday Invite

I finally decided to celebrate my birthday even if I'm here in MN. So ayan, pinadalhan ko ang lahat ng mga kakosa ko rito ng email para i-invite sila. Gusto ko lang i-post. For remembrance. Minsan lang naman ako magtu-21... :)


Whoaaaaaat? Dinner, Inuman, Party!

Weno ngayon? Friday the 13th, 21st birthday ko (walang kokontra!). 7pm onwards.

Wer art thoU? : 7260 York Avenue South Apt#306 Edina, MN 55435

Attire: Para maganda sa picture, may isa lang akong request – magdamit at mag-ayos na parang gigimik tayo! So bawal shorts, sando,
tsinelas, white shirt, gym attire at pantulog. Lalong bawal ang walang suot. (Yes! Eldrige, Von and Lester. Nabasa ko na utak nyong berde!)

MUST: Bring camera, sense of humor, own repertoire for videoke, and high tolerance in alcohol

Ang hindi pupunta, mamalasin sa Friday the 13th . And I mean major malas. May pagbabanta ito!


Cya! Don’t wana b ya! :)


~Consi

I am...

jolog. Oo, inaamin ko na. Ako ay isang certified jolog fan. And for this, I am pausing for a moment of silence...
...
...
...

Ito ay para sa pagdadalamhati dahil tapos na ang Majika at hindi ko napanood ang last scene kung nasan si Dennis Trillo.

Sige lang! Tawa ka jan! Pakiusap, huwag ka namang maging harsh. I have feelings too, you know. Minsan lang 'tong malalim na kababawan ko kaya't pabayaan mo kong mag-emote. Alalahanin mo, blog ko to at nakikibasa ka lang! I am just honoring my feelings. Maki-honor ka na lang. Pleeeeassse??? :)

*Sigh*

Ba't ganon? Ba't walang GMA7 dito? Baket??? Again...BAKET??? Wala namang silbi para sa akin kahit ni-replay pa nila nung Sabado, Linggo at Lunes. Kainelz!!! Kelangan siguro lumiham sa GMA7 (o lakarin ko na lang kaya at ihulog ang liham sa drop box) para mahabag ang kanilang puso (they're not Kapuso for nothing) at maglabas sila ng DVD o kaya mag-re-run sila sa Disyembre.

Wut if?

Haaaaay...Yun lang. Pasensya na. Walang literary value ang blog entry kong ito. Gusto ko lang maglabas ng aking melancholy. Nalulungkot lang talaga ako. Kelangan ko lang manahimik panandalian at magbigay-pugay.

*Pugay*

That's it. You really can't have it all.

Decided

There it was. The end of what could've been. I found myself in a familiar place with a quite nondescript turmoil of emotions.

Relieved. Glad. Contented. Grateful for this certainty. Pleased with myself because I know we are going to be friends until God knows when. Feeling lucky because now I understand that you are meant to be part of my now and tomorrow and here.

In a few minutes, the plane will be leaving. And I'll be left no longer wondering. Because we've said goodnight and meant it - and just meant what it really means.