Lately

So lately napapaisip na ako kung worth it ba 'tong trabaho ko.

Ok. So mga 3 years na yung 'lately' pero lately talaga super dalas ko na syang naiisip. Like dalas in terms of everyday when I need to have a call ng 9-10pm. EVERYDAY. Including Saturdays and Sundays and Holidays. Naawa rin ako sa team namin kasi pumapasok kami ng weekends so wala na talagang pahinga at wala na talagang quality time with friends and family. So pag tinatanong kami kung kumusta ang weekend, ang sagot ay 'Weekend? Anong weekend?' E kahit nga ang pagkain ng fishballs sa UP na 10 minutes away lang sa bahay ko, hindi ko magawa kanina kasi sa major work. To think yun lang ang 'gimik' ko sana this weekend. Making tusok-tusok sana the fishballs.

So in between getting healed from the impacted teeth operation to spending quality kamot tummy time with my furry ball dog, I worked like crazy. Crazy hours from 8am to 11pm with the phone ringing from morning 'til night. Gerry, a good friend said, this pays the bills and some more. Yun na lang daw ang isipin ko kapag nahihirapan ako hanapin ang reason for working these many hours to something na nahihirapan talaga akong makita kung totoo ngang may true 'cause'. Sabi nga nila, if you can't beat them, join them. I joined pero hindi ko makita ang point. At parang ayoko ata sayangin ang non-thirty years ko sa gantong buhay. Ang lusot na lang yata rito ay ang mag-resign. But I need the moolah. Na part of it pinambabayad ko rin ng DSL every month to be able to work from home sa gabi at sa weekends at sa holidays.

So lately napapaisip na ako kung worth it ba 'tong trabaho ko. Mag-resign na kaya ako? What if? At kelan?