Sagot sa Blog Entry na 'Lately'

Malapit na. I have more or less a month to go and I will not longer be an employee based in the Philippines. Mixed feelings. Natutuwa ako kasi alam kong I made the right decision - to be where I will be happier and that is to be with my family. And being married meant that Mark is now my family. Yun nga lang, I will also leave my other 'family' here - mom. Ganon daw talaga. Damang-dama ko ang -- "A man leaves his father and mother and is joined to his wife, and the two are united into one." So there. I will fly a few weeks from now to do that. Leave my mom and my dog sampu ng aking mga kamag-anak. Gorah ang lola mo!


Ok. Balik ako sa mixed feelings. First job ko 'to. Mahirap iwan ang 7 1/2 years. So why am I attached? I-bullet points ko --

--3 US trips, my last being the most memorable since because of that I met Mark.

-- Forever friendships. Here and in the US and in some selected parts of the world

--4 projects where I had 4 'kids' na parang lumaki na sa akin for my first ever lead role project, 24 amazing personalities in my current super-pahirap project.



Shempre may mga reasons din why I can smile now that I'm leaving. Hindi naman ako plastic. May mga ayaw rin ako at more than happy ako na takasan like

-- Forgettable personalities whom I'm so glad I don't have to be reminded everyday that they actually exist whenever I pass by the corridors of the building.

-- Admin tasks. Enough said.

--Working 2 shifts and the guilty feeling I have whenever I can't join the 9-10pm calls kahit na super valid naman ang reason.

-- All-day meetings. And I mean ALL DAY.

-- Documents and more documents.



Ok. Hindi naman ako tanga. I know I will also experience these when I get into my new job. Nagkalat yan at nagkalat sila - ang mga taong hindi mo alam kung pano sila nakakatulog sa gabi. And I'm so very sure may mga corridors yet to be passed by me kung saan matatagpuan ko sila. But until then, I want to be relieved and I want to believe that I won't hear from them, except for their 'karma' news. And maybe I won't have to deal with a lot of them in my next job. Well, let's see.


With that said, I also hope I will have more forever friendships and real people to be met and to share chika moments with in my next job and in the next neighborhood I'll be in. Sana nagkalat din doon ang mga totoong nice na tao na nice because they are really nice and not because they need something from you. Kasi marami rin akong iiwan na ganon sa current job ko. And it does break my heart to leave them. But I'm sure I will hear how they succeeded, how they climbed the ladder and how they've grown in their careers. Malalaman at malalaman mo naman kapag may good news di ba? At yun na lang sana ang malaman ko. Yung mga makakarma, wag na lang.

Ewan ko. Ka-excite na katakot. This is a leap. A giant leap. Goodluck sa pagtalon ko.

With eyes closed, toes crossed and with my hand holding Mark's sweaty hand tightly...

JUMP!

And I'm out of the comfort zone.