That Fungus Line

Isa sa mga slumbook questions ngayon ang 'favorite movie line'. Wait. Bago niyo ako tingnan ng karimarimarim na 'Eewwwww, that's so 1980's!' na tingin, gusto ko lang linawin na wala akong slumbook. Ok? Klaro na ba? Ngayon na medyo hindi na kadiri ang tingin mo sa akin, let's move on...

Merong kung anumang kakaibaing effect ang movie na My BestFriend's Wedding sa akin. In fairness to me, hindi ako napapagod panoorin sya. Fine. It's a chickflick. Pero kung kaya ko siyang panoorin ng paulit-ulit, hanggang sa masuka na lahat ng kasama ko sa bahay, feeling ko kaya mo rin. Maganda naman sya. May oomph. Plus I love the silk lavander dress on Julia.

No, he's nothing like me. He's like you, actually, only straight.

Nakaka-relate ako sa character ni Julia Roberts (Julianne Potter). Ang tanong? Paano ako naging ilusyonada? Ito ang mga ebidensya.

1) Bakla ang bestfriend/s ko. (Actually, bakla 80% ng kaibigan ko. And I'm not kidding.)
2) I was kulot once a upon a time.
3) I could be a food critic with how much I eat.
4) I love videoke.
5) I'm not comfortable unless I stand out.

Ok...ok...medyo pilit na ang konek. At aaminin ko, kahit kailan, hindi naman akong na-inlababo sa bestfriend ko. I was never into friends-becoming-lovers kinda thing. Sa akin, kapag barkada, hindi dapat tinatalo. Kung binabato kita ng throwpillow at binabatukan kita kapag nag-aasaran tayo, asahan mo sa susunod, sofa na ang ibabato ko sayo. That's how it works in my world. Kapag platonic from the start, platonic na habang buhay. Pero sabi nga nila sa akin, wag daw akong magsalita ng tapos. You can never tell. Minsan daw sa pagkakaibigan nagsisimula ang lahat. So far, sa akin, doon din nagtatapos.

I'm pond scum. Well, lower actually. I'm like the fungus that feeds on pond scum.

Lower. The pus that infects the mucus that cruds up the fungus that feeds on the pond

scum.

On the other hand, thank you for loving me that much, that way. It's pretty flattering.

Except it makes me fungus.

Pero yung mahulog ng sobrang hulog na kakayanin mong magpaka- fungus para lang masabi mo na mahal mo ang isang tao -- ito yata ang gusto ko masubukan.

Adik? Masokista? Hopeless romantic? Bahala ka kung anong gusto mong isampang kaso sa akin. Pero sa lahat ng kalokohan sa buhay, isa lang ang pinaniwalaan ko. Kung hindi mo kayang magmahal na parang wala ng bukas, kung hindi mo kayang gawin ang lahat para malaman kung may posibilidad na maging kayo, kung kaya mo matulog na hindi nalalaman kung pano magmahal na sobra pa sa inakala mong kaya mo... Ito lang ang masasabi ko -- Kita mo yung bintana niyo sa opisina sa 10th floor? Bukas na bukas din, pumunta ka ron at tumalon ka. Wag ka na lang mabuhay. Cause you're missing a lot dude!

But hope is not lost. Dahil concerned citizen ako, ito ang gawin mo.

1) Kung mahilig ka manood ng movies: Magkulong ka sa kwarto at manood ka ng love stories hanggang mag-sink-in sayo kung pano talaga magmahal.
2) Kung mahilig ka magbasa: Humiram ng Mills & Boon sa mga nanay at kapatid ng nanay mo.
4) Kung mahilig ka mag-jamming: Makinig ka ng senti music.
5) Kung sinusumpa mo ang love stories at senti songs: Manood ka ng mga documentaries kung bakit nagkaron ng Taj Mahal o kahit anong feature on people sa history, discovery or national geographic channel.

Hindi mo pa ba gets? Kahit saan ka tumingin, iisa lang ang sinasabi ng lahat. Magmahal ka. Ng lubos. Hanggang sa maloka ka. Dahil kung kulang pa ron ang kaya mo, ano pang saysay ng buhay mo?

When you love someone. You say it, you say it out loud. Right now. Or the moment passes you by...

Masaya siguro na maranasan na isigaw mo na minsan, ikaw ay nagpaka-fungus. Pero kung may mabulag man ako na magpapaka-fungus para sa akin, malamang hindi rin naman ako magrereklamo.

Teka lang, ang tagal nang naka-pause nito at kukunat na ang fish crackers ko. Uhhmmm....Fish crackers with suka and garlic while watching My BestFriend's Wedding...Perfect!

Abducted

I was becoming one of those people who still work long after everyone else has gone home and gotten their lives back.

For those who seriously know me, the first sentence would've sent shock waves to your brain just as you're reading this second sentence. You're not alone. I am with you. This is indeed a weird phenomenon. The weirder part is, it didn't scare me one single bit. I wasn't just feeling normal about it. I was feeling great!

Now, just reading these thoughts out loud makes me wonder - Is this really me or was I abducted by aliens who replaced my insides with a workaholic monster?

You could take this as a sign. The planets could've aligned. Probably a comet will hit earth soon. Maybe all those who have been mean, green with envy and promiscuous should repent and make straight the path. Or maybe, just maybe the time has come for me to REALLY work.

I don't know with you but the last option seems quite logical. Not to mention fascinating.

After five years of chatting, sashaying to work thinking that office corridors are modeling ramps instead of just plain corridors, I think I have mastered the craft of projecting that undeniably crisp image that I can deliver quality work on time and under budget.

Right! Hold on! I'm getting my camera. This is a Kodak moment.

It's definitely the turning point of my professional career. It's about time I work.

Ha! Karma would've thought it has kicked me hard by getting me to finally toil in a harsh and hazardous working environment such as the techie world. To be able to do pure, hard core, burning my neurons and eyebrows type of work, just think of what I have to subject myself with. Picture being under the fluorescent white light that can never give you a good angle in pictures. Imagine dry airconditioned rooms which make your skin scream for tube after tube of moisturizer. Lastly, ponder on the need to absorb a necessary amount of caffeine to just fill-out a status report at the end of the day.

Now, if you think the points mentioned are perfectly tolerable, go check on yourself. It's either you're a masochist or you may have to scratch your arm.

That's it. You have dry skin.

So to Karma, I purposely hand my apologies. I'm sorry if I disappointed you. I am working and I'm actually enjoying this.

I'm beginning to think there could be truth behind being abducted by aliens. Or it could be just a new amazing miracle moisturizer. Or maybe I'm just kidding.

Goodnight And Go

It was one of those days with its normal routine and as usual you were there - right in the scene.

It's not perfect but it's ok for now. I want exactly this - my life being low-key and simple. I'm just breathing deeply when needed and taking things in stride --Laugh when it's funny, be serious when it's work, go crazy sentimental when it's family, feel warm and cozy when it's about friends, and be curious when it's you.

After saying goodnight and seeing you go, I was left wondering how the next day will be. I guess, until I find myself not wanting to wonder, my days will have to be like it was today. I'm comforted by the fact that everything is just in their right places and there is no pressure to feel anything. And if you happen to be holding a King of Hearts card, there is really no urgency to put it down on the table. And I mean, REALLY. There's no room now to over-analyze and complicate things.

Tomorrow could be the last goodnight and go, or maybe not. It doesn't really matter. Let this grow if it has to. Let it go when it needs to.

For today, it's goodnight and go...and I'll see you tomorrow.

Allow Me To Be Mushy

I think I was given a once in a blue moon chance to be mushy and I decided to take this one. I didn't mean to download this but it was in the folder where I got the song I really wanted. I guess nice surprises sometimes come in accidents.

So I'm sharing this to the world (a.k.a. all those blessed with brevity who visit my humble blog abode) and I hope you find it endearing. Cause I just did.


"One And Only" by TEITUR

I've been wishing on a star but I never could have imagined
I would land just where you are after all this lonesome travelling
Took one look in your eye, reached out to hold your hand
This is when I realized what I could never understand

Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?

So you wanna be my friend, so you wanna be my lover
With you I do confess I can't be one without the other
That was hard for me to say, I hope I said it right
Which ever, come what may, you see I need to know tonight

Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?

Do you want to play these cards, do you want to lay them down?
Do you want to run away or do you want to stick around?

Do you want to be my one and only love?
Do you want to be my one and only love?


I looked out at my window. Yes, the moon is indeed blue. Well, at least for me. And it probably won't hurt to talk to you tomorrow...

Bukas Luluhod Ang Mga Stars

Excited na ako. I swear. Pwede bang mag-fast forward dahil sobrang atat na akong magbukas? Basta dama ko talaga. Every inch of me is saying this is the start of my singing career. A star will be born tomorrow. Dizzzizit. Bukas luluhod ang mga stars...

It was a definite sign. Right after I told my friend that I wanted to join the group, they announced that they are recruiting new blood - young talented artists ready to sing like it's the last night of the world. Whoaaat? Miss Saigon, statue? Ha! Ito na nga siguro ang break na hinihintay ko.

So anong meron bukas? No. It's not an audition. At least not the type that could land me a record deal.

Masakit mang aminin pero mukhang sa anak ko na lang ipapasa ang pangarap kong maging artista. Tinanggap ko na ang katotohanan. I'm a bit rough around the edges to make it to the American Idol stage. So I might as well make it to the stage where the BIG GUY is.

God, this is it! I'm singing again...for YOU. And I personally think that's even soooo much better! :)

You Had Me At...

Do you know that certain feeling when you just can’t wipe off that weird smile on your face cause every little thing that a person does just makes you crack up for no apparent logical reason?

Well...you happen to have that effect on me.

I'm mature enough to know that this is nothing but a fleeting thing. You see, I could even try to explain it scientifically. With my hormones going wack over lack of sleep, the change of weather and the stress I'm getting from work, I certainly think this shouldn't be taken seriously. Something as shallow and cute and frisky as this, isn’t going to progress into anything serious. My mind is shouting it out loud -- This just can’t be.

Sometime next week, I know I’d be ‘crushing’ on another cute person within a 2-meter radius. And all these hooplah would go into 'pffft'. But the problem is, I'm not even sure if this thing that I'm attributing to you may even be under the same hemisphere of crushing.

It's unbelievable. You look at me and you smile like I did the weirdest yet cutest thing on earth. I literally have nothing in my defense but a shy smile that I just have to give back to you. I know. Major ick. And even if I don't want to admit it, I die a little bit from your shameless yet very tastefully done flirting. Confirmed. Double major ick. I have barfed each time that weird feeling in my stomach happened. And yes, I perfectly agree with you. This is outrageously pathetic and insane and stupid.

You shouldn't be allowed to do this to me. It’s very dangerous. There is this slightest chance that I could fall. And if you can't assure me that it's not going to be with a bad bouncing thud, then I should do what I do best. Run. Fast. So in the name of self-love and self-protection, I am taking the liberty to say 'Here. Take your flirtations and your melting smile back. I don't want them.'

Our both being single is not enough reason. You see, I have my priorities. I even have my list of non-negotiables. I don't want to play games especially now when things are finally normal and going as planned. I stay firm with my decision that I am not changing my plans for anyone. And I know as long as you're in the realm of 'anyone', I'll be fine.

And I know me. I'm gonna be just fine.

Editor's Karma

Holiday. Wala akong magawa kaya nagpakalunod ako sa blogspot at sa friendster. Kaya hayun, nagbasa ako ng mga dati kong posts at ng profile ko na isang taon ko na yatang hindi ina-update.

And then, it happened. Nosebleed.

Bigla kong nakita ang mga wrong prepositions kong nagamit sa profile at sa blog entries ko. Ang sakit sa tenga pakinggan. Major eksena!!! Naturingan pa namang isang taon na yun na nakabalandra sa aking page at kung sinu-sino pa naman ang nakakabasa non (O wag na mag-comment. For a moment, I would like to hallucinate na one of the most visited ang profile at blogspot ko...Please, don't ruin this for me. Echos!). And to make it more apocalyptic, pinangalandakan ko pa naman sa profile ko na I love writing. Namfoknat talaga! Gasp. Ano 'to? Tipong I love writing wrong sentences? E ako pa naman, mainit dugo ko sa mga nababasa kong may wrong grammar at yung mga maling subject-verb agreement na sentences na nakaka-nosebleed. Ngunit, datapwat, subalit isa rin pala akong biktima. English 101 victim.

Ito na yata ang karma ko sa mga panlalait ko. Tila nakita ko si Oble na bumaba mula sa kanyang pedestal sabay kinutusan ako..."Huy! UP ka pa man din. Wattisdamaterwichooo?" That's it. Gusto ko na mag-Japan-japan (aka Harakiri). But instead of slashing my abdomen with a perfectly crafted sword, I will punish myself by not having hairspa next weekend. Tama lang ito. Let me have a bad hair week. I deserve it.

On second thought, tao lang naman ako. Nagkakamali. At higit sa lahat, atat mag-click ng Save at Publish Post buttons at hindi nag-e-edit. Ungas talaga! Sabi nga ni Booba -- ganon talaga ang buhay, parang gulong, minsan nasusunog. Pero hindi ako si Booba - dahil wala akong boobs at feeling ko naman hindi pa lahat ng neurons ko ay napapatay nina Corona Extra, Smirnoff, Absolut at ni Red Horse. So I guess, may utak pa ako. Sana...

But just like any other fall, I must get up and rise from the occasion. That's it. From now on, I won't let myself be swept by that rush of clicking that Save or Publish Post button without editing my post -- once, twice, three times (to prove I'm) a lady. I promise. No more nosebleed. And I will be kinder to other writers posting their thoughts in the WWW. Baka nga naman tulad lang nila ako...click lang ng click. Nagmamadali. Hindi nag-iisip.

Lesson learned - Hindi dapat nagtitiwala sa unang click. :)

Anti-Social

Sakit ko yan. Minsan lang talaga sinusumpong ako ng pagiging anti-social. Tulad ngayon. May libreng bowling social ang oficina. Lahat ng mga kasama ko ritong pinoy pupunta. Ako? Eto, nasa harap ng laptop, with the TV on and the sound of my clothes rotating in the dryer in the background. Aside from the fact na wala ako sa mood mag-ingles ng buong gabi dahil ginagawa ko na yun ng buong araw, sinumpong lang talaga ako ng ultimate katam. At dahil nga uber ang sumpong ko ng pagkatamad, I'm having Cheetos, Krispy Kreme donuts and Diet Mountain Dew for dinner. I'm thinking, if I go on this way for the next two years, I'll die of diabetes or cancer (whichever comes first to attack me) with no friends and a big butt. Just like what you'd want one of your characters to be in a weird award-winning novel. Asteeeg!

Don't get me wrong. I like parties. I don't have demophobia. Demo-phobia. It's a big word that means fear of crowds. Oha! Nag-google-lize pa ako para malaman yan! I actually consider myself as a very social person. Maingay at makulit ako to the point na minsan, kahit ako, naiingayan at nakukulitan na rin sa sarili ko. Pero may mga pagkakataon lang talaga na gusto kong mag-isa, magtago sa lungga, magpaka-couch potato at kumain ng junk food hanggang sa sumakit ulo ko. I find joy in not doing anything - wasting away the whole evening with nothingness.

Anak ng tokwa. May nothingness pa akong nalalaman. Ok to a. Mukhang expert na nga ako rito. I could even make my laziness sound very philosophical. This is just fabulous!

Buzzz!!! That's the dryer saying my clothes are ready for another week of wear and tear. Pero bago ako mag-offline, gagawa muna ako ng poem. Ehemm...

The night is young
and so are we.
And only God
can make a tree.

Ha! Splendeeed! :)