North and South Poles of Love

I had an interesting weekend. Well, watching all the DVDs and the movies in TV that I can get hold of didn't really contribute to it being interesting.



Not because I went somewhere interesting but because two of my friends had to consult me with their heart problems. One was falling in love. The other was about to lose the girl he said he wanted to marry.



Interesting. Two of my friends at opposite sides of the love spectrum at the same time. The other one made me feel warm all over with all the great possibilities ahead of her. The other made me want to cry and curse the girl who treated him badly.

So ganon nga lang talaga noh. Tama si Booba. Ang buhay parang bilog. Minsan nasusunog.

Ay, love pala 'to. Ba't napunta sa sunog.

Well, you get burned either way with love. Burned with so much love and desire at the beginning at major burned kapag chugi na ang love lines sa conversation nyo. Haaaaay. Ang love. Nakakaloka.

I guess I just have to be what I have to be with these 2 friends of mine. That is be a good friend and just be supportive. Ano pa nga ba?! E di sasabihin ko sa isang inlababo na mag-ingat at wag magpakabugok sa love hangga't hindi siya sigurado na gusto nya talagang pag-aksayahan ng oras, pagod at pera ang girlalu. At sa isang friend ko na akala nya papakasalan na nya pero hindi pa pala, good for him! Fate has saved him money, effort and time na dapat sa totoong karapat-dapat pagbigyan. And I'll be there pag dumating yun. Makikinig ng mga kilig stories and moments.

E ganon talaga. Ang Love parang gulong, minsan nasa taas ka at super saya ka. Minsan naman flat tire.

Buti na lang, hindi pa ako in love ulit. Wag muna. Ok na ako makinig sa mga nilalang na to. For now.

Ode to Uncle

Ngayon ko lang ata gagawin 'to. Pero dahil mahilig ka namang sumilip ng blog ko at basahin kahit na maraming beses ko nang sinabing "Waaaaaag! Ayaw!", heto na. For the first time ever in my blogging life, I am writing about the only real thing I have now.

E pano, kelan ka lang naman dumating sa buhay ko kaya ngayon ko lang din pwdeng i-blog di ba?

Oo, ikaw. Ano ba? Drop the innocent look!

Ayoko naman maging mushy at senti. Nandidiri nga ako minsan sa mga heart breaking love stories na parang katapusan na ng mundo dahil nag-break at hindi naging happy ending. At hindi rin naman 'to tungkol sa breakup. Because we are very much together. And I hope it's not too much if I wish for forever this time - for the first time.

Ok. I'll cut to the chase and I'll just say what I think can brutally sum up the experience of being with you.

"If I have to go through it all again, I would. Even if it meant wasting precious time again and again with all the assholes and heartless people I've met in my life. Yes, I will willingly go through it all again, if it all meant having this and having you. It all made sense now. You made my asshole experience(s) worth it!"

Here's to our half year and to choosing, being and staying happy... :)

Oh Nano, Nano...

Anti-iPod ako. Unlike my signing up for Multiply (na libre naman), hindi ako nagpa-peer pressure sa pagbili ng kahit anong iPod (make that any Apple gadget) nung lahat na ng nasa paligid ko ay may iPod na nagsusulputan na parang kabute in their rainbow colors complete with their super protective accessories.

So, bakit ayoko ng iPod? Let's enumerate.

Reason no.1 - Wala ako nito (anti nga e!).

Reason no. 2 - (linked to Reason no.1) I think it's overprized compared to its other pa-low profile mp3 and mpeg players. So if ever I'd buy an mp3 player, I'd opt for those other brands. Kung anong brand, hindi ko alam. Wala naman kasi akong balak bumili. Period.

Reason no.3 - Isa akong saksi sa pagkawala ng buhay ng iPod. May iPod ang dati kong roommate and very good friend Nette (hi dear!) at isang araw, walang pasintabi, namatay na lang ito bigla. Kahit anong gawing restart, walang nangyari. Wala. E sa dun na lang talaga ang kaya nyang itakbo.

Wait.

Let's pause for a moment of silence for the demise of her iPod.
*pause* (hinga) *silence*

So nung namatay ang iPod nya, nabuhay sya pansamantala sa aking super simple but reliable mp3-slash-recorder-slash radio player na USB din. And then she opted to buy a different brand of mp3 player to replace her iPod. Haaaay, there goes one buyer off the iPod market!

Pero ngayong araw na 'to, parang nag-iba ang ihip ng hangin. Ewan ko ba. Parang gusto ko na yata sya. Parang napamahal na ako sa kanya. Parang pwde naman ata kami mag-workout.

Hmm...hindi kaya dahil binigyan ako ng boss ko ng iPod nano?!

Well, bakit ba? Balimbing na kung sa balimbing. E sa libre e.

Ah kaya naman pala ayaw ko ng iPod ay dahil sa reason no.1. Wala akong iPod dahil nanghihinayang akong bumili ng isang clear-cut 'want' at hindi 'need'. Oo nga naman. Ibibili ko na lang ng bag na astig sa baghaus.com. Matutuwa pa ako.

But then I love free stuff! Free! Free! Free! I love my new iPod nano. :)

Grabe! I love BestBuy! I love my Project! I love you talaga!!!

Hmm...maka-surf na nga ng mga astig na accessories. Nuninuninuuu....

Sell-Out

So anong bago? Hayun! Meron na rin akong Multiply account. Sa totoo lang, nakakatamad mag-maintain ng mga gantong kakulitan kaya for the longest time Friendster lang ang meron ako pero dahil na rin sa peer pressure, nagpa-pressure na ako. Tutal masaya naman makiusyoso ng mga bagong nangyayari sa buhay ng ibang tao, kaya naisip ko na rin, why not? Kaya heto, join na ako sa new sosyal tool of stalkers and friendly beings out there.

Welcome to Multiply!!! :)

Yes! Sell-out na ako!!!

In furnez, mas maraming pwedeng itapon na pics dito. Hmmm...pwede na. Pwede na rin 'to kesa mag-maintain ako ng Flickr at Yahoo Photos accounts. At naaliw rin ako kasi pwede pa maglagay ng mp3s at dahil member na ako, pwde na rin mamirata ng mp3s ng ibang tao. Hmmm...ok naman din pala. Para ring Friendster with an added oomph. May calendar pang nalalaman at blogspot na parehong hindi ko naman gagamitin pero cool na rin.

Ok fine. Multiply it is! http://charmingconsi.multiply.com. I love it (*Paris tone)!

Today

I was watching Inside Actor's Studio when one of the greatest actors of this generation said "Today is a tomorrow I was worried about yesterday."

That great actor who is also a scipt writer, painter and pianist is Anthony Hopkins.

Buffalo Wings

220pm na dito. Friday, Oct.12 pero lalabas sa blog ko Oct. 13 na dahil hanggang ngayon, di ko pa rin ina-adjust ang oras ng blog ko. Wala lang. Pero usually dahil tamad lang talaga ako magbutingting ng blog ko. (Antamad ko nga maglagay ng pics at di na nga nagbago ang hitsura nitong blog ko e, pag-adjust pa kaya ng oras?)

Anyway, going back...Ayan. Handa na ang bag ko. Ok na lahat. Naka-empake na. Magsi-siesta na lang ako at paggising ko, go na to the airport to see Niagara Falls!!!

Actually, bukas ko pa sya talaga makikita dahil 12midnight na ata kami makakarating sa hotel. Kaya kahit na may forecast ng ulan bukas buong araw, dedma. Go pa rin kami.

At dahil pupunta kami sa Buffalo, bigla kong naisip na kelangan kong kumain ng Buffalo Wings! Mataas ang expectation ko na masarap. Dahil kung hindi, e di sana dito na lang sa tabi-tabi ako bumili. Kahit nga sa suking tindahan ng Cub dito sa Edina Minnesota, meron non. Kaya umaasa ako na masarap. At tipong masasabi ko na 'Aaah, kaya naman pala Buffalo Wings...'

Yun lang. Share ko lang. At oo nga pala, Happy birthday to me!!! :)

Nice Surprises

When I got home yesterday, I saw 2 boxes by my door. I figured the one that's shaped like a shoe box is the Converse pair I bought more than a week ago. So yay!!!!

With the bigger box, I have no idea what it is or where it came from. I had a hunch Mark got it for me cause he hasn't been quite discreet on letting me know that he got something for me for my birthday. E ano naman kaya 'to? So I hurried, got a kitchen knife and stabbed the box's taped sides to open it. Ta-daaaaah!!! Wii Dance Revo Bundle!!! Super yay!!! Sobrang natuwa ako!!! If only I didn't have to hurry to make dinner and go to the cantor workshop and audition, I would have popped the disc in my Wii console and danced on the pad like there's no tomorrow.

And so I didn't dance revo yet. I waited for Mark to have dinner and thanked him for giving me the amazing toy! But he was surprised when he saw only 2 opened boxes on my table. He kept on asking me if I got another package. I showed him my new Converse shoes and told him '2 boxes. Ito na yun! Wow! Meron pa?'

Turns out I have another gift from him and it was supposed to arrive the same time the Dance Revo game did. So making a call, we learned it was delivered to the leasing office of the apartment instead of getting dumped at my doorstep. I really didn't care that it's not there yet. The fact that there's another box waiting for me within 2-mile radius of my apartment is more than enough reason for me to have a big wide grin plastered on my face.

Yey!!! Meron pang isa!!! Isa pa! Isa pang gift!!! Although Mark kinda dampened my spirits for 2 seconds when he told me right away that it's not a dog and it's not a chinny (guinea pig) either, I still think it's superb of him to get me two gifts!!! Yay!!!

My day didn't end there though. After dinner, I went to the parish and braved the cold breeze and the fact that I was the only new blood trying to be a cantor. Cantor is the lead singer of the choir. Soloista-slash-lector. I've been a choir member for more than a year now here at St. Richard's Parish and it's only now that they held a workshop-slash-audition. Most of the cantors are veterans. Literally and figuratively. Literal dahil karamihan, may puti na ang buhok. Shempre, ako lang ang Asian na mukhang batang paslit na pinabili lang ng patis sa kanto at naligaw sa simbahan. And figuratively speaking, cause one of them has been doing it for 7 years and the newbies they consider have been at it for 3 years. Shempre, dahil makapal ang mukha ko, kinapalan ko pa lalo! Pumunta talaga ako ron at umupo kasama sila na parang feeling 'I belong'. Inisip ko lang 'Kiber! Kung hindi matanggap, e di choir pa rin ako. Aalis na naman ako sa January so mga ilang buwan na lang akong magpapakita sa mga 'to.'

Una, pina-sample muna ako na mag-announce ng 'Welcome to St. Richard's' spiel na walang mic. Salamat at malakas ang boses ko at nakapasa naman. Medyo parang tough twister nga lang yung phrase na yun kaya parang nagtunog na 'Welcome to St. Rischard'ssshhh Parish!' yung pagkasabi ko. Di naman sila nag-react. Kaya dedma na lang. Kunwari di ko rin napansin. Pero panay na lunok ko kasi feeling ko tatalsik na laway ko anytime. Pagkatapos ng tongue-twising event na yun, pinakanta nila ako ng kahit anong Psalm sa Gather book. E since di ko naman alam ang mga Psalms sa book dahil choir lang ako at puro Refrain lang ang kinakanta ko, kinanta ko yung natatandaan ko pa ng slight dahil 2 weeks ago lang namin kinanta. So Psalm 139 it is. Happy the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of God.

Hala! Aba akalain mo nga naman! Kinaya ko! At mega rave ang reviews!!! Awwwwww...they like me. They sooooo like me *blush*! Sniff..sniff... Nakaka-tempt mang kunin ang Gather song book at mag-speech ng 'I would like to thank my parents...chuchuchu', pero pinigil ko na rin. Mega ngiti and training beauty queen na lang ako while they were giving me comments na parang American Idol ang dating. 'Very natural.' 'I like your gestures.' 'This is the first time Consi tried out to be a cantor but she sounded like a pro.'

At marami pang super over my head comments. Chu-chuchu. Chu-chu-chuchu.

So in short, cantor na ako! Baka next month ako mag-start. Di ko pa alam. Baka hectic ang schedule. Charing! Pero sabi nga ng isa kong kasama "It's not a performance. It's a chance to lead the congregation in song and worship" O di ba? Shala!!! Luvs it!!!

Oo nga. Napaaga nga ata ang birthday ko this year. Andami ng regalo, wala pa man lang Oct.13th. Haaaaaay...love pa rin ako ni God kahit na sutil at atat ako lately.

Hosha, kanta na lang ako...Happy the poor in spirit, theirs is the kingdom of God...

Super Sadness Part 2

E sa nandyan na yan e.

Nangyari na.

Wala na akong magagawa di ba?

Kundi tanggapin na lang.

At ituring na lang syang parang anak ko na rin.

Oo Dennis. Aakuin ko syang parang tunay kong anak.

Note: Wala lang. Ang saya lang ma-carried away sa issue. Hehehehe.

Pre-Birthday Blues

Ayoko pa ata mag-birthday.


Hindi dahil ayoko pa tumanda. Hindi dahil kapag tinanong ako kung anong edad ko, hindi ko na pwedeng sabihing mid-20s. Hindi dahil parang tumatagal yata ng hindi ko inaasahan ang quarter life crisis ko. Hindi dahil dalawang tumbling na lang at wala na ako sa Pebrero.


Pwede ko siguro ubusin ang character limit ng blog ko pero hindi ko pa rin masasabi lahat ng it's-not-those-reasons sa utak ko. That or pagod na ako at ayoko na lang mag-isip.

I think both.

Hindi talaga ako mapakali. Halos isang linggo na lang at kailangan ko na namang tumanda. At parang natatakot ako na wala yata akong masyadong pinagkatandaan. Well, hindi naman sa wala talaga. Hindi ko lang ata inaasahan na by this time, I would find myself here. Nowhere and surrounded by a cloud of uncertainty. May mga gabi na napapatanga lang ako at iniisa-isa ko sa utak ko lahat ng aspeto ng buhay ko. Ano bang magagawa ko pa para maayos 'tong pamilya kong sabog? Masaya na ba talaga ako sa trabaho ko? Kapag tinopak ba ako at sinimot ko ang savings ko para bumili ng 2nd hand na auto at binili ko lahat ng Kate Spade na bag na gusto ko, may makakain pa ba ako? At syempre nandyan ang mga mas importanteng mga bagay tulad ng...Tatangkad pa kaya ako? Pwde kayang maging kamukha ko si Zhang Ziyi? Hindi ba talaga sa akin ang anak ni Dennis Trillo?

Pasalamat ako sa Diyos at may nag-iisang maayos at sigurado ngayon sa buhay ko. Hindi na papayat ang boypren ko.

Ay, at isa pa pala. Na mukhang sa lahat ng mali kong ginawa, tumama na yata ako sa aspeto ng pagpili ng lalake.

Pero dahil tao lang ako at hindi marunong makuntento, hindi pa rin ako 101% masaya. At kelangan talaga 101% dahil over-achiever ako.

GOD, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Hindi naman ako humihingi ng Serenenity at Wisdom. Mukhang ok na ako ron. Kailangan ko ata ng maraming courage. God, pengeng isang sakong courage as my birthday gift. I need a change. A big change. I just don't know where to start and what I should change.

I'm hoping one of these days, God will show me what I should do. And because He's ever so generous, He will give me choices. Difficult ones. At nakikinita ko ng Deal or No Deal ang drama nito.

Hello, Banker?

Haaaaay...Goodluck sa akin at sana hindi makulitan sa akin si Banker.

Super Sadness

Akala ko sobrang malas ko na nung nakaraang linggo.

Akala ko tapos na ang pag-iiyak ko.

Akala ko dahil sobrang lungkot ko noon ay magiging masaya na ako ngayong darating na linggo.

Pero biglang kinausap ako ng kaibigan ko.

Bigla nyang sinabi ang balita.

May anak ka na pala. At itinatwa mo pa noong una.

At syempre, hindi ako ang ina.

Bakit? Bakit ang sakit?

Haaaaay, Dennis Trillo. Sagutin mo. Bakiiiiiiit?