Freeway

So after two thousand years (ekseherada!!!), I chanced upon your picture. I felt two things -dismay and disappointment. No more regret. No more hurt. No more sighs of thinking that I'm missing how things used to be. No more drama.

So maybe, two thousand years (AKA time) can remove all that crappy hurt in your system. And it does take time for the rationality to kick in and for your brain to say to your heart - "See? I was right!"

So maybe my mind was right. Fine. I made the right decision. I made the right choice. I guess it takes time to know and to be convinced.

It was like driving fast on a freeway and then suddenly realizing you have to take the exit -the nearest exit you can find just because you see that you're running low on gas and you seem to have no idea where the next exit will be. You weren't in the mood to get lost and to go on an adventure because aside from the fact that you've travelled long and far enough, until now, you still haven't seen any sure signs to your destination. You don't see the landmarks. You don't see the right signs. Instinct is telling you that you're going the wrong way and you have to go to the nearest gas station to fill-up your car and to ask for directions.

And you found the nearest exit and it was right by the corner. But it came too soon. You weren't prepared for it. You haven't slowed down carefully enough to take it but you slam on the breaks and turn the steering wheel anyway. You took it because you had to. Because as much as you want to wait out, you just don't know where the next exit will be. You know if you'd wait, you might get too far and you'd have to circle the whole stretch of that interstate freeway and get lost. And you can't get lost. Not with gas running low. So while you've got the gas, you took the nearest exit in sight.

Call it being coward. Call it being scared. Call it bailing out and losing spontaneity. But for me, it's about being brave - brave enough to insist on where I know I should go and what I want to get out of the trip. I was certain - certain that I want to get to my destination. I didn't want detours. I wanted assurance. I wanted clarity of directions and intentions. For once I wasn't being rash in my decisions and I was using my head with my heart. Although time is on my side, I can't waste any more of it anymore.

And knowing that all I have now is time, I felt sure that it'll all work out.